This piece is from my first guest writer - my daughter - Asha Clark. It was placed 2nd in the National Flash Fiction Competition 2017 and was published last year in Flash Frontiers Magazine. Enjoy!!!
DEAR SATAN by ASHA CLARK
I would like to express my dissatisfaction with the accommodation you have provided me in hell. My room doesn't meet the standards I was expecting because of a number of reasons.
First, there is a dead, rotting corpse in my closet. This is a clear breach of minimum hygiene requirements and my health could suffer.
Secondly, for some reason there is a blood stain on my carpet but most of all clearly on my bedroom wall, someone has drawn a pentagram with their blood. I have no understanding why the cleaners didn't clean my apartment beforehand.
Another problem with the accommodation is the fact that many of my neighbours have amazing five star rooms with free room service and Sky TV! On the surface, I was a bad enough person to secure a good place here in hell and get better treatment than this. I made so many people miserable because I complained about everything. Is that not deserving of at least a good room? I mean "Mr Serial Killer" up in the penthouse has an amazing suite and what in hell did he do, kill a few people? Psh! I made people lose their jobs over my complaining. My wife even filed for divorce! I even made a co-worker homeless because of my complaining about his service, which I do kind of regret it since he killed me because of it, before committing suicide… And look at the room he has got!
Thinking about this, however, I feel you purposely gave me this room to give me even more to complain about, kind of like my own personal hell... Hang on, you did didn't you!